35 Ways to Deal with Your Kids 24/7

You can probably tell by the title that this will be somewhat of a hilarious post (at least I hope). Since I turned 35 years-old today, I thought it’d be funny to talk about ways to deal with your kids 24/7 – 35 to be exact. Just to give you a little back story, in the beginning of my motherhood journey I started out with one child. I said I wasn’t having any more after him. I also worked outside the home and he was in the care of my mom and the public school system majority of the time.

Fast forward about a decade and now I have four children, homeschool, and work from home. This means I am with my wonderful, beautiful, awesome, and amazing kiddos TWENTY-FOUR-SEVEN. All day, every day. The only time I’m away from them is during occasional lunch dates with my dad, and pit stops to the grocery store or bank. Other than that, it’s all of us. All the time. Including my husband.

Please know that I’m not complaining. I actually think it’s a huge blessing. The fact that my husband doesn’t have to slave work at a job that takes him away from his family for hours on end is a blessing. The fact that I can contribute to providing for our family by doing things I was created to do from the comfort of our home is a blessing. And the fact that our children can have both of their parents as primary influences in their lives is yet again, another blessing.

So I share this blog post out of pure humility all while keeping it real. For the mamas who are with their kids all day every day, you’ll find this hilarious. For those of you who aren’t, it’s okay to laugh.

35. Give them food. They’re probably already asking for a snack for the 319th time anyway.

34. Take a family nap. These are THE BEST! Am I right?

33. Put on a movie. And yes, let them watch it 147 times.

32. Color all the pages. That’s what the coloring book is for anyways.

31. Let them fight play. The toy was intended for Child A, but we all know that Child B, C, and D will wanna play with it too.

30. Just say yes. Doesn’t matter to what because if you say no, you’ll hear the question 20 more times.

29. Give them snacks. They’ve been asking every 5 minutes anyways.

28. Play outside. Even if it’s -10 below. Bundle up and go.

27. Pretend play. Because every movie they see they’ll want to reenact.

26. Go with the flow. You’ll have every intention of doing something only for it to backfire and leave you questioning your whole life.

25. Play games. All the games. Over and over.

24. Play clean up. Especially while they think it’s still fun.

23. Feed them again. They just ate 5 minutes ago, right?

22. Let them play dress up. Change all the clothes.

21. Watch that movie again. It’s still in the DVD player.

20. Have a dance-athon. Party like it’s 1999.

19. Read all the books. Again.

18. Color some more. Throw out the idea that the paper was supposed to be used for homeschooling. Use it now.

17. Let them tear paper. All of it. Then glue it to more paper.

16. Take a mandatory break. Send everyone to their beds.

15. Include them in what you’re doing. They need a glimpse into adulthood anyways.

14. Answer all the questions. They’ll just keep asking if you don’t.

13. Give them a dose of their own medicine. Start asking them 100 questions. Without time to answer.

12. Have you fed them yet? It’s been ten minutes.

11. Give them goldfish. They’re hungry.

10. Blow bubbles. Until you almost pass out.

9. Blow party horns. You know you have some from the last birthday party.

8. Restart the movie. It’s still in the DVD player.

7. Retreat to your save haven. Things have gotten pure psycho.

6. Stop hiding the balloons. Get them out, blow them up, and let them play.

5. Complain. Everybody does it. Then feel bad for complaining.

4. Try to go to the restroom. You’re almost done.

3. Tell them to sit down and be quiet. At this point everyone needs a break.

2. Send them to the corner or the bed for not doing # 3. We still that break, right?

1. Hug them. Kiss them. And just love on them. Because they won’t be kids for long.

Oh yeah, and don’t forget to feed them. They’re still hungry!

CHIME IN: What are some way you deal with your kids 24/7?

This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Olivia Hamilton

    Happy birthday! Thanks for the laughs! I mandate quiet time for myself in my nice, dark & quiet bedroom! And always outside time.

  2. Lol! I love that like 15 of your 35 suggestions are to feed them again! It’s so true! You see all the memes about how when public school lets out for the summer, it turns into a 24/7 feeding frenzy. Well, we homeschool mamas deal with that ALL year long, huh? I love this post and it made me laugh. Happy 35th birthday!

    1. Michelle

      Bwhahaha yaaaasss Amy! Exactly!! Thanks so much for the birthday wish!

  3. Mary

    Haha! Absolutely love this!! I feel like we are in similar places. I too homeschool while (attempting) to work at home and it’s a hard life sometimes! Your humor is a perfect example of how we should look at motherhood sometimes! Totally needed this today!

    Also, the food thing. Haha! This is so real. My kiddos want snacks All. The. Time.

  4. Charmese Rae

    “Oh yeah, and don’t forget to feed them. They’re still hungry!” – If this blog post wasn’t the absolute truth! I’m probably 35/35 on a daily basis in my home (with ONE child). Please send wine.

    1. Michelle

      I hear ya Charmese! What kind you need? LOL

  5. Maria

    Haha! So many snacks….:)

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