Mention the word homebirth, and you may catch a few side eyes. But in most recent days, I have found that more and more people are actually supportive of it! Funny thing is, four years ago when we decided to have a homebirth with our precious baby girl, the resistance was through the roof. We were questioned from all angles – as if there wasn’t already enough doubt and wonder about the possibility.
When my husband and I conceived, I knew I was ready to be a mother again. You see, almost seven years before, I had a very traumatic experience… one that left me scarred, damaged, and saying “hell no” to having more children. The pregnancy of my firstborn was pure bliss. It was everything and more. I was healthy, taught gymnastics, and worked in the school system up until 3 weeks before having him. I was a happy preggo lady.
On the other end of that happiness were the “normal” doctor visits, all the tests, ultrasounds, and doctor-led coaching (so to speak). What I mean is that I didn’t know what I was doing, nor did I know what to expect… so naturally, I went with the flow. If the doctor said I needed a test, I took the test. If he said yay, I said okay. When it came close to the end, the doctor laid the suggestion of having a “planned birth” on the table. I even remember him mentioning about being out of town around my due date and the possibility of another doctor delivering my baby… but I didn’t question it and actually found it cool (at the time) to be able to pick my son’s birthday. Since all but one of my nieces and nephews were born on the 3rd of a month, I thought “how cool would it be to plan for my son to be born on the 3rd of a month too?”
I didn’t know at the time that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I chose November 3rd which meant he was going to be taken two weeks early. I didn’t know that what was talked about as something normal, and that happens all the time, would end up in me being put to sleep, having an emergency c-section, bleeding severely from where he cut me open, and my 6lb 14oz son being put in the NICU with breathing trouble and a feeding tube.
I didn’t realize that it would be almost 20 hours before I’d hold my son for the first time because I was too doped up and weak to walk. I didn’t take into account the missed first moments, being able to breastfeed, and the natural flow of childbirth gracing my body… until four years ago.
Four years ago, I became empowered. I became educated. And I became aware.
First and foremost, I was empowered to understand the natural side of childbirth from a biblical point of view. Then I wanted to hear other success stories, and talk to midwives and doulas.
I became educated about the truth behind the statistics we are fed in hospitals by doctors who, let’s be honest, see a lot of dollar signs behind pregnancies, labors, and deliveries… especially the ones that put even more money on the table. For the record, I’m not saying that every doctor is like this… but I’d be a fool to think that most aren’t.
Then, I became aware of what my body could do. It’s a fact that my body could have a natural vaginal birth after a c-section. It’s a fact that my body knew exactly what to do during labor. And it’s also a fact that my baby knew what to do through the natural birthing process.
As with any journey, you live and you learn. With my first HBAC, it all didn’t quite go how we originally planned. We were new to this whole thing, and we trusted (and still do) the direction of our amazing midwife. Yes, I was still hanging on to some fear from the first birth. Yes, I was nervous. Still, I got my homebirth. And I also got deliverance from the hidden emotions that were still holding me from the first traumatic birthing experience.
Second homebirth was truly a piece of cake. I had prodromal labor for a couple days so by the time little man was coming for real, I didn’t have time to freak out. The midwife didn’t have time to get there, and my husband slipped into Dr. Dad without thinking twice. He delivered our son on our bathroom floor with no complications what so ever. It was beautiful. Simply beautiful.
This go around… I don’t have any plans. I don’t have a set way it needs to happen, and I’m not going to make any. If I learned anything from the last two homebirths its this: choosing the natural way means releasing everything you think should happen and go with the flow of how things will happen. I remind myself of that any time I feel like I need to dream up a way this labor and birth should happen.
Nope. Stop it. To choose natural means just that… let everything happen naturally. It’s all the intervention, preconceived notions of how something should be, and all the coaching of how it will happen a certain way that leads moms to freaking out about childbirth and seeing it as a medical procedure versus something that Yahweh blessed since before creation!
So… yeah… that’s our journey to homebirthing in a nutshell.
CHIME IN: what are your thoughts about homebirthing? Biased or not, I want to hear from you! What are your experiences with it? Do tell in the comments below!
Until next time, happy homebirthing-