Blog Contributor, Family, Lifestyle

Loving People, Not Possessions

Join Blog Contributor Cescelie as she talks about loving people, not possessions.

February is the month when love is in the air. On Valentine’s Day everyone is reminded to show love to the people who are nearest and dearest to their hearts. They often go all out with showy displays involving flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. I feel that it’s always a good thing to show love to others.

I don’t have a problem with having a day set aside to celebrate love. However, like so many other traditional holidays, Valentine’s Day has become so commercialized that it really has nothing to do with the spirit of love at all. Often what we see on display is greed and materialism.

I believe that we should show love and appreciation for the people in our lives on a daily basis, not just on Valentine’s Day. In the past few years, I have lost many close family members. Most of these loved ones were in their fifties or younger. The experience has taught me that I should cherish the people that I have in my life. I should make sure that they know that they are loved.

It saddens me to see that family members and friends will journey from far and near to attend the funeral of a loved one. However, they won’t drive across town to pay a visit to that person while they are alive. There is an old James Cleveland song that says,

“Give me my flowers while I yet live. So that I can see the beauty that they bring. Speak kind words to me while I can hear them. So that I can hear the comfort that they bring. Friends and loved ones may give me flowers when I’m sick or on my sick bed. But, I’d rather have just one tulip right now than a blanket full of roses when I’m dead.  Give me my flowers while I yet live. So that I can see the beauty that they bring. Speak kind words to me while I can hear them. So that I can hear the comfort that they bring.”

The Truth Is…

People don’t last forever. We all have an expiration date. It’s important that we show people that we love them while we are blessed to have them in our lives.

Be quick to forgive transgressions.

Don’t hold onto grudges.

Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” Even if you are the one who is owed an apology.

Let it go and move on with the holy call to walk in love with all men. The scriptures say, “Owe no man anything, save to love one another: for he that loveth his neighbor hath fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8).

Love is the Key

Love is the key to everything important in this life. It calls for us to resist our selfish tendencies and choose to live a life where love is the governing factor. We can meet people right where they are and, instead of trying to change them, determine in our hearts to show them unconditional love. The only way to have a successful love walk is to stay in close relationship with The Most High God, fellowship with Him, read the Scriptures, and pray.

One of the greatest lessons that I have learned about love came through my daughter. She went through a stage where she was questioning my love for her. I thought that I was being a good mother and showing my love by making sure that her physical needs were met. I was making sure that our home was clean, she had good nutritious meals everyday, she was dressed nice and had really cool hairstyles.

In my mind, I was showing my kids that I loved them because I was doing everything in my power to make sure that all of their physical needs were met. I found out that I was failing to meet my daughter’s emotional needs. She informed me that her love language was different from mine.

The Language of Love

I am the type of woman who isn’t into the showy acts like flowers and candy, etc. I love for my husband to do more practical things that make life easier for me like filling up my gas tank and cleaning out my car.(LOL) My daughter is the direct opposite of me. Her love language is getting hugs and cuddling.  She loves having your undivided attention as she tells you about her day in dance class. She wants the flowers and candy.

You have to learn how to love people the way that they need to be loved. You may think that you are showing love but, the other person may not be feeling the love. I made the necessary adjustments to meet my daughter’s emotional needs. I started to hug and cuddle with her more. We have mother-daughter dates where we watch her favorite television programs and giggle together.

I quiet my mind so that I can fully hear her when she is telling me about her days in dance class. I give her my undivided attention. She likes that. I am learning to love her in the way that she needs to be loved, not the way that I experience love.

In conclusion, make it a point to walk in love with all men. Don’t allow anyone to bring you down to a level so low where you are hating them. Find ways to show people that you love them. As parents, we work overtime to give our children all of the things that we did not have as children. All they really want is our unconditional love and attention.

So much of our precious time here on this earth is spent in the pursuit of more possessions. We don’t have to look far to see stories of people being killed over some materialistic object. It just breaks my heart every time I hear a story about some young person losing their precious life over something as foolish as name brand sneakers or a carjacking.

Life should be valued much more than any material possession. However, this world feels like it’s upside down and people are no longer valued over possessions. Where there is darkness, we are to be the light. Make it a point to love people more than possessions.

CHIME IN: What is your love language? Is it hard for you to communicate to others through their love language? Share in the comments below!

About Cescelie Cowser Jelks:  Cescelie is a loving wife and mother of two teenagers.  She is married to her high school sweetheart of 35 years. She is a Registered Nurse with a Master’s degree in Education.  Cescelie homeschools her children with an emphasis on African American studies and STEM education.  Cescelie has recently launched a nonprofit organization called “Blessed to be a Blessing.” The purpose of the nonprofit is to uplift the lives of women and underprivileged youth.  Cescelie’s vision for her life is to be a highly sought after author and motivational speaker who travels around the world motivating the masses. She has contributed to an anthology entitled, “Lessons From My Grandmother’s Lap” and recently released her own book entitled, “Reclaiming My Time.”  It is available in paperback and on Kindle at Amazon.com. Cescelie can be contacted on Facebook via messenger, Instagram, or via email at cesjelks@gmail.com. Cescelie has a blog at http://www.reclaiming-my-time.com.

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