Somewhere, there is a homeschooling Mom who is miserable. If she’s not miserable, she feels like she doesn’t fit in. She ain’t a part of any clique. Her children don’t quite fit in with the others. And, it seems more like a burden to keep trying rather than just throwing in the towel.
Well, Mom, I’m talking to you. I want you to know that you don’t have to be miserable. You don’t have to question what’s wrong with you or your kids. And you definitely don’t have to consider changing who you are to fit in. So don’t even.
At this point, most will tell you that it takes time. Or, you’ll get used to it. Or how about the classic just step outside your box and branch out. But what about when years go by and you’re still left feeling like why did I even sign up again this year?…
Well, let me be the bearer of some good news… and, this is what most will not tell you… it’s OK to break up with your homeschool group.
I’ve been in your shoes… and recently. If you haven’t gotten a chance to read any of my books, past blog posts, or aren’t connected with me on social media, then you probably have no idea how transparent I am. I have to keep it real. Sooooo many years were invested in being who others wanted me to be, and that will run a life down quicker than anything (in my opinion).
When I first joined my homeschool group four years ago, I already felt intimidated. I felt out of place. And I had no idea how to do the “homeschool group” thing. I was welcomed. I was comforted. And I started to see the point in needing this group. The second year, it seemed to get even better with what participation I could do. Just a side note, I’ve only been able to really participate one semester each year due to being always expecting a baby (LOL)!
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Anyways, things started to change drastically by the third year, but let me say this…. it was not the homeschool group’s fault. It was the morals and values of my family that started to shift toward something that didn’t quite line up with modern Christianity anymore. Now before you think I went off the deep end of denying God and going atheist, that’s definitely not the case either. My family became what’s considered “Torah Observant“, so the worldly holidays got tossed… we traded Sunday church for Biblical Sabbath keeping… unclean foods were replaced with the Levitical diet… and we began wearing fringes on our clothing, also known as tzitzits.
I expected the looks, the questions, and the whispers… but what I wasn’t prepared for was my own emotional instability behind what would eventually need to happen. I would eventually come to the point of breaking up with my homeschool group.
A change in morals and values may not be your case. As I mentioned before, feelings of being left out, not measuring up, or just not being in the “clique” can definitely drive a Mom to the decision point of to continue or not to continue. Regardless of what your reasoning is, do not… I repeat, DO NOT hesitate to do what’s best for you and your family. It’s seriously okay to let go and let God, even when it comes down to being a part (or not) of a homeschool group.
I’m thankful for the lessons learned, the short associations made, and the social experiences gained for my son. But I’m also thankful for the support of online homeschool groups, friends (near and far) who homeschool, and the emotional stability (now) to know that I made the right choice.
Also, if I might add… whatever your reasons are for leaving your homeschool group… never, ever, ever talk bad about them. Do not try and paint a negative picture even if you had bad experiences. Always leave on a bright note and without causing a scene. Why? Because you never know how you could affect someone else. Another Mom may not see the need to break up with her homeschool group, and you never want to put yourself in a situation to be a stumbling block to someone else. Deal?
For the Mom who is faced with this choice, I pray that you find grace and comfort in the decision you are faced with. I pray that you do not fall into the comparison trap… and most of all, I pray that you will find favor in selecting a future support system to encourage you along your homeschooling journey!
CHIME IN: Have you ever been faced with the choice to leave a homeschool group? If so, how did you handle it?