Okay, okay, I get it. Our society has done a very good job of making large families look crazy, on top of super expensive… or just down right country. Old T.V. shows like Jon & Kate Plus 8 and 17 Kids & Counting (then 18 and 19) definitely did not help the stigma placed on large families; and in my personal opinion, are not real depictions of how large families truly are.
If you had asked me 20 years ago if I wanted children, let alone a big family, I would’ve laughed really really hard! Now that I am expecting baby # 4, I can’t imagine life any other way. The more I grow in my spiritual walk, the more I realize that I am truly blessed to (1) be equally yoked/married to my Boaz, and (2) be a receiver of Yahweh’s blessed heritage (also known as children according to Psalm 127:3-5).
While it is a blessing on one end, it comes with some pretty alarming things on the other. Similar to what I talked about in 5 Things Interracial Couples Wish Others Would Stop Saying to Them… the looks, double takes, and snood remarks that are meant to be funny (but aren’t), get pretty old.
Here are five things moms of multiples wish others would stop saying to them:
1. Are all those your kids?
Even if I were babysitting, and they were not all my children by blood – does that really make a difference? I really hate it for families who adopt a lot of children, especially from different parts of the world. I think it goes without saying, but still… someone, somewhere, somehow, still makes it a point to squeeze this question in there!
So, YES, my 9 (almost 10) year old is mine… my 3 year old is mine… my 1 year old is mine… and yes, you see a baby bump (due in December)! Which leads me to the next question…
2. You know what causes that right?
Yes. I. Do. And excuse me for sounding vulgar, but I like it… and beyond that, Yahweh is blessing us with His heritage and the fruit of the womb is the reward (Psalm 127:3). How awesome is that?! Sometimes I like to also snap back, “Didn’t God say be fruitful and multiply?” You can imagine the looks I get from that. Usually after a few more remarks, I end up hearing…
3. How many more do you want?
Well let’s see. My husband and I have calculated it out, and if we have between 4-6 children, we’ll have a pretty decent retirement plan going on! LOL! Just kidding, but really, you should see the faces I get when I bark back with that one. I was telling one girl at Lowe’s that our kids would be our retirement plan, and a man in his upper 50s chimed in and said, “I tried that, and it didn’t work!” Gosh, thanks for messing up my future dreams, guy! 🙂
Seriously, though. How do you honestly respond to this kind of question? Do people really expect an honest answer? Because the comment in itself proves that they are already taken back by the flock that’s following you, so what could we actually say to make them think, “Oh yeah? That’s awesome!”? Almost every single time, this next question comes up…
4. Isn’t it expensive?
Depends on how you look at it. Are you accommodating to your children, or are you making your children accommodate to you? In my opinion, either way is fine, but as for my family, we are just now beginning to make the upgrades necessary for our growing family. People thought we were nuts living in a 2 bedroom duplex with three kids, but it works. No one is running out of room. Everyone has a nice comfy bed, play room, lounge room, eating space, and so on. It’s really not that big of a deal for us.
When it comes to clothes, toys, and other materialistic things, we have been extremely blessed to be on the receiving end of hand-me-downs. Yes, our kiddos still get new things occasionally, but getting something new to us is sometimes better! And when it comes to food, no one is starving or going without. If anything, it’s neat to come up with good meals that last (thanks Pinterest)! And this leads me to my last comment…
5. I don’t see why anyone would want that many!
I don’t see why about a lot of things, but when it comes down to people’s personal choices that don’t even affect me, I keep the comment or concern to myself. I know most people who say this don’t mean any harm, and in all actuality, it reveals some pretty deep stuff about themselves, but still… it could go without being said. Would you agree?
So next time you see a mom of multiple kiddos… give her a high five, a pat on the back, and maybe slip her a gift card to a pizza place! LOL! You will surely make her day!
Until next time, blessings –
P.S. – this is post # 4 in the series 5 Things _________ Wish Others Would Stop Saying to Them. Be on the lookout for the last one:
- 5 Things Network Marketers…