Family, Lifestyle

5 Things Interracial Couples Wish Others Would Stop Saying to Them

Looking at the picture above (and the ones below), it is obvious that I am in an interracial marriage, and we have interracial children (not pictured for personal reasons). If my husband and I had to associate with a particular “race”, I am an African American woman and he is a Caucasian man. If you want to get technical with our bloodline, you’ll find a variety of cultures ranging between Caucasian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, and Native American – all mixed and jumbled before we were both even born.

I’ve never been the one to focus or place much emphasis on the statistics surrounding anything racial. Yes, I’m familiar with the different trials and tribulations many cultures have experienced since the beginning of time, but I’m not one to really allow it to affect me. I will admit though… sometimes I speak of particular cultures in a stereotypical (but jokingly) way, but who doesn’t?

I come from a background of ancestors and very close relatives who were field slaves, house slaves, and quite prejudice. I can’t blame them, though, because something such as interracial relationships/marriages were prohibited until 50 short years ago. When you think about it, that’s really not that long ago!

With that particular statistic comes a myriad of feelings, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and practices that has boldly carried the spirit of separation into society today. Interracial relationships/marriages have become one of those unspoken situations that may result in stares, eye-rolls, and undercover remarks that actually shows one’s disapproval.

This leads me to 5 things interracial couples wish others would stop saying to them:

1. Doesn’t the Bible speak against interracial unions?

If you want to take Scripture out of its proper context, sure. You can make it mean whatever you want! But when you consider the context of time, situation, who’s involved, and what was going on at the time – many of the Scriptures used to back up the notion “interracial unions are against God’s Word” are in fact speaking of a time when there was a nation of people (1) teaching pagan, false god worship and practices to God’s people, and (2) when nephilim (and other not-so-human) beings walked the earth and were reproducing.

I don’t want to get into all that too much, so I’ll say this. From my personal understanding, no, the Bible does not speak against interracial unions. In fact, I believe it speaks volumes of two people, regardless of skin color, who are equally yoked and living lives on fire for God!

2. What will/does your family think?

Two words: who cares? (LOL) But seriously, though. When a couple understands where the significant other’s side of the family is coming from, you have an idea of the level of resistance there will be. I’ll use my personal situation as an example. My husbands side of family (mostly the older folk) obviously held thoughts and beliefs that aligned with the “that ain’t right” attitude. And they let me know that without really saying a word.

Was it uncomfortable at first? Yep. Did it create a little tension between my husband and I? Sometimes. Did his family eventually get over it? Yes, they did. And we are all fine and dandy right now today.

Now my side of the family already knew what to expect. My oldest brother and I both have always dated mostly “outside of our race”, so it was no surprise when I introduced Bryan to them. Not saying that it made it any easier, but again, it goes back to knowing what to expect from “the other side of the family”.

 

3. What will your kids identify as?

That’s easy! Human beings, fearfully and wonderfully created by our Heavenly Father! It’s no secret that multi-racial children are over-popularized. Don’t believe me? Start with Pinterest. You’ll find board after board showcasing multi-racial children purposefully showing off unique eye colors, hair textures, and skin complexions. I never have understood the hype created behind interracial/multi-racial children.

Needless to say, our children will be taught to be identified as creations of Abba. No, we do not (and will not) place emphasis on their skin color, hair color/texture, or what appears to others to be a “unique mixed look”. We all have unique looks!

4. Do you have something against your own race?

I’m not sure why someone would pair interracial unions with having something against their own race. Perhaps for some people, there could have been an incident that inadvertently caused a switch to be turned off, but even then… okay.

Believe it or not, I have been asked this several times. My answer is always no, followed by a chuckle of “I wonder what makes you think that!” I also wonder how a person would respond if their answer was actually yes, followed by a description why. Things that make you go hhhmmm.

5. I don’t see how you do it. I’ve never been attracted to (fill in whatever nationality)!

My response to that is…. And that’s totally okay! There is nothing wrong with marrying within your nationality, or outside of it. Truth be told, you better be attracted to your spouse or you’re in for a long ride! (LOL) It’s just funny how people, without hesitation, can prove their stance about interracial relationships by making it known how they feel about it, and what they would or would not do. When it comes down to it, whatever floats your boat, sails my ship!

Instead of taking a stance with how you feel (negatively) about interracial relationships, try this…

Try to not make it about you. I know that sounds blunt and harsh, but it’s the truth. How many interracial couples actually sit down and interview people about how they feel in regards to their union? I don’t know of any! So, don’t feel like your stance is something that needs to be voiced.

If interracial relationships really get you out of character, I strongly suggest a heart to heart with the Father. He is the Creator, the Author, and the Finisher… so He is fully capable to help you understand His creation and His way of doing things.

Lastly, try to take off the color blinds. Seriously. It’s 2017 and there is no secret to how skin pigmentation, genetics, and everything else plays a part in a person’s skin complexion. Look beyond the statistics, stereotypes, and stigmas and get to know people. It’s characteristics, personalities, and so on that make a person who they are – not their skin color!

 

Chime in! If you are in an interracial relationship/marriage believer, what are some things you wish others would stop saying to you? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below!

 

Until next time, blessings –

 

 

P.S. – this is post # 2 in the series 5 Things _________ Wish Others Would Stop Saying to Them. Be on the lookout this week for:

  • 5 Things Homeschooling Moms…
  • 5 Things Moms of Multiples…
  • 5 Things Network Marketers…

 

6 thoughts on “5 Things Interracial Couples Wish Others Would Stop Saying to Them”

  1. I have heard these SAME things time and time again! My boyfriend is Korean, I am white, and people can’t seem to get past it! It doesn’t make our love any less, but I wish they wouldn’t focus on it.

  2. This is so true! My husband and I were out a few years ago and were approached to do an interview on our “swirl” (half chocolate/half vanilla) relationship.

    I had actually never heard of the term until that moment. At first I thought it was funny/cute but after thinking more on it I got really upset. We are two adult human beings – our relationship shouldn’t be reduced to ice cream flavors. Also, there is enough events that do not get enough media coverage – my relationship is not one of them.

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